What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
