whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize