Got a toothbrush?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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