saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
