I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
