operation harelip BJ is a go
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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