he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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