areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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