If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
