I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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