pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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