Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
