So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
