so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
