thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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