I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
