The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
