You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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