some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
