I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
