He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize