I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize