Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
