Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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