I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize