sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
