People with herpes should wear stickers.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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