i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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