any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
