You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
