I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize