Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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