god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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