Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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