he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
