Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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