The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
