3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize