Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
