Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
