I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
