glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
