Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
