i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
