so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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