but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
