2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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