That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
