I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
