her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize