By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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