Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
