is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
