I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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