why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
