If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
