My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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