The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
