no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
