At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
