Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
