obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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