Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think my moral compass just broke
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm really busy with my period
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