never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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