This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
