Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize