Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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