Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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