just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
