Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
