nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
