dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
