sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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