You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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