There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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