i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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