pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you never un-have a 4some
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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