She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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