he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
