i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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