is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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